No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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