i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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