I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
