By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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