Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
