U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
