We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
