If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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