The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
