I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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