Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
