You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize