apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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