Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
