I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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