this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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