my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sext me about skeletons
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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