after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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