Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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