he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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