he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
