I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
