You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I love having hate sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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