Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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