Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
