I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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