Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize