I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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