I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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