Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
