I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
