Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
