Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
