I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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