i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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