No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
