she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
