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Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All I want is dick and wine.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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