Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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