Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
honey bunches of taint.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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