Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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