so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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