Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
