She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
