Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
