Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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