My sheets look like a crime scene.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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