drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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