i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
