If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
