Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize