I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
