thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
