Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
