You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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