Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
