soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize