fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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