As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
